One Direction-Little Things

For a long time my sister Rebecca and I have been wanting to make videos and put them on youtube but fall semester was crazy and we never had time.  Finally we sat down and just did it and now we're gonna share it with people...so that's what I'm doin....sharing it.


One Direction Little Things Cover

Today I liked my outfit

Today I liked what I decided to wear to a dinner in Monterey with Colin and his co-workers, so before I left I had Matt (the little bro) take a picture of me....in our front yard....where my neighbor saw him doing it....Probably thought I was totally conceited. I promise I'm not, neighbor!  Anyway, I thought I would share what I wore today with the world, and of course by world I mean my four followers...and by four followers I mean my Dad, Mom, and two sisters. =)

Oh also, in completely unrelated news..there's only three days left until Christmas.  Ummmm, what??  How did this month go by so quickly?  I'm not ready yet! I need time to slow down jussssst a little so I can enjoy the holiday a teeny, tiny, bit longer before it's over.  So get on that, time.  Ok? Can you do that for me?  Thanks. 

This may seeeeem like a sad post, but it's happy. =)

When I was around ten years old, I decided four things:  By the time I was 22, I would (a) be living in New York City (not for forever, just for half a year!), (b) have a husband, (c) have a baby, and (d) have a job........

Yep. Those were my ten year old dreams and ambitions.  And unlike most kids I didn't change my mind about what I wanted.  It was always the same.  I was completely infatuated with New York City and it never really wavered.  I dreamt  about walking down busy streets next to the person that I loved while snow quietly fell around us....all. the. time. It consumed me and I honestly believed it could happen.  12 years was soooooo far away! Unfortunately, I didn't realize how fast I would actually grow up..Peter Pan should have prepared me for that one.

On December 15th, I turned 22 years old...and I am here to announce that I live in California, am not married, don't have a baby, and have not even finished college, let alone started a career. 

I had known this day was coming for awhile, I had been watching the days go by in my planner over the past couple of months, seeing the date "December 15th" slowly creep closer, taunting me..and yes, it came, and it went...as all dates on a calendar do.  At first I thought: "this isn't so bad, you've known for the past few years that you wouldn't fulfill any of these dreams within your ridiculous little kid time frame, don't be bummed.  Don't dwell on it."

But then my feelings ended up getting mad at my thoughts for trying to be the rational one in their relationship and eventually my thoughts just angrily stormed out on my feelings...

so instead of being rational, I start to feel like I'm in one of those cliche chick flicks where the guy and the girl love each other but some kind of conflict occurs, so, (usually the girl) gets on a plane to leave....And anyone who has ever seen one of these movies knows what follows:  The guy rushes through the airport, disregards security protocol, and sprints for the gate.  He's gotta get to her before he loses her forever.

I'm not sure I've ever seen an ending to one of these kinds of movies where the plane isn't stopped, and the boy ends up broken hearted and alone forever.  It just doesn't happen...Not even in Liar Liar or Parent Trap people. 

But my cliche chick flick is different, I'm not chasing a guy, I'm chasing my dreams.  They're leaving and I'm afraid I wont get there in time.  I'm gonna sprint after them as fast as I can, shoving people out of my way James Bond style and causing a scene.  When I've finally reached my gate and breathlessly tell the stewardess that he or she has to stop the plane from leaving, that it can't go because something on it is too important for me to lose,  he or she is just going to look back at me and say "I'm sorry but you just missed it."  And I'll just stand there...not knowing exactly what to do, or what comes next.

I know that the scenario above is a little bit (a lot) unrealistic and dramatic and totally annoying, but I just sometimes feel stuck.  At the moment I have an older sister right in the middle of living out her dreams...and a younger sister who still dreams of marrying celebrities.  And here's me..just..going to school.

Deep down I know that being 22 and still in school is ok, that I'm not really ready to have a baby, that I'll get married when the timing is right,  and that it was way too ridiculous and naive of me to think any of that would be possible in the first place..but for now it's ok to feel a little disappointed..right?..I don't know, maybe it's not, maybe it's selfish. 

I'm not saying that because I've turned 22 and these things haven't happened yet that they wont though...No, I still plan on being married sometime in the future, and having amazing little miracle babies, and my dream job...and really, who knows where I'll end up living..But I guess through all this dreaming, I've learned not to set deadlines for myself.  I can't expect things to happen according to what I think is best.  God knows exactly when all of these things will happen and that continuously brings me comfort and joy.  Right now I am going to enjoy my year of being 22 years old that God has given to me =).  I am not sad, I am hopeful.  Hopeful for my future, and for my dreams to come true someday soon. 

Ohhh to dream

Here's a story:

Have your dreams ever come so close to coming true that you could literally reach out and touch them?  Close enough to touch them with the tip of your fingers, but just out of grasp?  No, I haven't personally experienced this, but I do know someone who has.

Monday night, not one, but TWO phone calls from the same important number were missed by a very optimistic and hopeful girl, thus ensuing in a frenzy of nerves, excitement, and anxiety.  For three days following, that girl and her family sat by their phones waiting and hoping that they would ring again.  Because oh, how great would it be for those dreams to come just a little closer??  Close enough to wrap her fingers around it and hold on verrrrry tightly. 

But no...it was not the right time for her dreams to come true.  A phone call never came, and instead she had to watch her dream pulled away from her finger tips and placed in the palm of someone else. 

I guess things like this happen sometimes...But you know what? If you ask my opinion, I don't think that this particular story is over...No, I think that this dream will reappear at some other time, in some other form, yielding the same results.  All that girl has to do is keep on dreaming that same dream.  =)

Thoughts on my day in SF

Today I had to drive to San Fransisco and back within a three hour time frame.  This is the second time I have had to do this now for a class this semester. I didn't even use my GPS to get there, and I'm pretty proud of that.  =) But here's what I think about some other things...

1.  Trying to make a right-hand turn in Downtown San Fransisco at 1:00 in the afternoon is almost impossible. Pedestrians...everywhere!

2.  Drive aggressively!

3.  25 dollars to park for thirty minutes?  No, no, really, that sounds totally reasonable!

4.  Jasper John's artwork is actually pretty cool.  His flags and Numbers series rocks. 

5.  I find skyscrapers inspiring and beautiful. 

6.  The weather is nice. 

7.  I feel like I'm in an episode of Gossip Girl when I get my backpack checked at the counter and have the option to check my coat as well. 

8.  the complete lack of tolerance that my body has for caffeine is almost funny.

9.  One Direction's new CD is making my lose my voice.  BUT!...Happily singing at the top of my lungs in my car where no one can hear me is the besssst!

Yep.  Those were my thoughts. ;)  Hope you had a good day. 

Things you can learn from Spiderman?

Have you seen the new Spiderman that came out this past summer?  No?  Yes?  Well regardless, I like it! While I have to admit that it can’t even come close to touching the awesome-ness of The Dark Knight Rises, it’s still a cute, fun, and entertaining super hero movie…and I mean, it has Emma Stone in it..so hello, that just makes it good on its own.  =)

I saw this movie twice in theaters. Once with my family, once in Arizona with my best friend, and tonight I watched it for the third time with the amazing family that I’m currently living with while I finish school. 

So you know how the more you watch a movie the more you notice things, hear things, remember things, ect?  Example…I could basically recite the entire movie of You’ve Got Mail or Easy A to you because yes, I’ve watched them that many times.  Well tonight, while watching Spiderman, toward the end of the movie there’s this scene that stood out to me in a huge way.  

Here’s the scene: Spiderman has to get to the Oscorp tower to save Gwen Stacy and stop Dr. Connor, but he’s hurt and doesn’t have enough physical strength left to get him there.  He can see his goal, he just can’t reach it…and of course the whole thing is being televised on the news. One man that notices Spiderman is in trouble decides to take action, to go against orders to evacuate that part of the city, and recruit his friends and co-workers to set their cranes over a specific street that will give Spiderman a straight shot to his goal.  Just when Spiderman thinks that he is going to fail, these cranes start moving into place and bring him back to hope.  He may be able to do it now.  He sums up all his strength to stand, and slowly starts to run for the edge of the building.   This clip shows the rest.

I LOVE this scene!! I’m a Christian, and while watching this scene, these bible verses about running a race kept popping into my head.  Here’s what they say:

Hebrews 12:1-Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus…

Acts 20:24-However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

“run with perseverance,” “my only aim is to finish the race.”  

Spider man was totally doing this you guys! He had one goal and he was desperately fighting to reach it.  I mean, he even got tasered while trying to get there, come on.  But even more importantly than him being fixed on his one goal, is the fact that he had other people HELPING him.

Lately I feel like while I’m in the midst of running this so called race mentioned in the bible verses above, I’m either doing this: 

Or this: 

Honestly...neither of those are too great ;).  Sometimes I suck at running this race.  At times I am a very judgmental, grumpy, and pessimistic person that can be extremely good at shooting others down.  And when I’m not doing those things, I’m wrestling with temptations, cussing, saying things that I immediately regret, and just plain tripping over every little obstacle that pops up in my life.  

I learned from Spiderman tonight, that Number one…I need to be a crane operator in my friend’s lives, in my family member’s lives, and in stranger’s lives even.  I need to be willing to ignore what is “safe” for me, and go operate my crane instead.  I need to lift up others and help them run their race and reach their goals, not shoot them down.   

And Number two…even if I’ve fallen into temptation, blurted out hurtful words to others, gotten tripped up over small inconvenient things, or have been shot in the freaking thigh, I need to be willing to GET UP and sprint off the edge of the building to keep racing. When I come the hurdles, no matter how injured I feel,  or how tired I am, I can’t stop. 

 

One Semester Left

Today I turned in my application for graduation to the Registrar's office at San Jose State University. I was so nervous that the woman behind the counter would look over my paper and say "wait a minute, there is an error here" or "You aren't eligible for this because you're missing something"..but instead she just looked at me, smiled, and said congratulations.

For a while I didn't think that graduating in two years as a photo major would be a possibility.  There are four sessions that happen over the course of the academic school year at SJSU.  Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer.  Classes are available depending on the session, some are strictly for spring, some are strictly for fall, and only certain classes are held during summer and winter session.  Most students who major in something normal have the chance to take classes for all four sessions of the year.  But art (photo) classes are not offered for winter or summer sessions.  This makes completing our units pretty difficult when there is a cap of 16 units on the students right now due to impaction.  But somehow I did it.

 I have 18 units left to graduate and I will be completing them all in the spring.  Planning my schedule today left me feeling a little suffocated from the thought of taking 5 activity classes (classes that are project based, a lot of time consuming work) and 1 lecture class. But I know that it'll be worth it when I finish, and I'm really looking forward to some of them! Advanced lighting, history of photography, and 3d design should all be pretty interesting. 

Anyway,  I can't wait to finish school.  It feels like I've been a college student forever, and while I've learned a ton of things that will help me in my career later on, I am soo ready to be done. =)

Addicted

Music: an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.

Hello, my name is Candace Mann and I’m addicted to music.  And I would like to stay that way...forever.

I grew up in a musical home.  Both my parents sing very well and have been in regular rotation of my church’s worship team for as long as I can remember.  Early mornings of waking up, getting ready, and watching our mom and dad practice up on stage while sitting in the row next to my sisters and eventually my little brother before church started on Sunday mornings was a common occurrence.  Music was engrained into us. 

Country music was also big in my family and every time we visited my Grandma in Stockton, the sibs and I would do two specific things: swim in the pool, or watch country music videos.  It’s how we grew up…and let’s just say Amanda may or may not have had a thing for Billie Ray Cyrus after watching his “Achy Break-y Heart” music video.  I also used to think that I was pretty much as good at singing as Carrie Underwood is…When now I think I need voice lessons. ;)

Along with those musical experiences, concerts were also something that my parents made a part of our childhood experience.  Point of grace (more than once!), Plus one, Rachael Lampa, Jackie Velasquez, Garth Brooks, Niel McCoy, and Billy Dean pretty much sum them up (I think).

I’m sure you get the picture by now…Music in my family is kind of a big deal, but recently I’m starting to realize that to me, it’s even more. 

When I hear a song for the first time, I can usually tell within seconds of it starting whether I like it or not.  And when I like a song, I don’t just like it, I love it.  The first thing I do is repeat it over and over, and by about the third time of hearing it, I know about 75% of the lyrics and start to sing along.  Next, I repeat it about 50 more times and while I do that I explore the song.  See, for me, music has layers and I want to understand every single one of them.  I want to see the image that the artist is painting through their music, I want to know and understand every little hidden piece of meaning behind the words that they chose to sing about. I want to hear the specific notes of the piano, guitar, bass, drums, Cowbell…all of it.  I literally get lost in the songs that I love.  I let them envelope me and take me to where the artist wants me to go. 

Around the time of my freshman year in high school I got pretty tired of listening to Christian music; it seemed like all these young artists on Christian radio were simply choosing an artist from the secular scene, copying their sound, and pasting Christian lyrics on top..and it. drove. me. nuts.  My middle child self that has, and continues to struggle with longing to stand out and originality simply could not tolerate it.  Instead I listened to secular music, and I loved it.  There is something about a good love song that breaks my heart and sows it back together 2 times bigger than it was before, that I can’t even handle.  It’s just so good!  The first time I heard Magic by Colbie Caillat I’m pretty sure I cried…just sayin’.

 BUT!....sometimes I get so wrapped up in those amazinggg songs that I forget about something entirely and infinitely more important.  Worship songs..are the ultimate love songs.  Throughout my high school career, I was so focused on not listening to copy cats, that I ended up avoiding worship music on accident as well, when in fact,  Worship music is completely different than “positive alternative” music…and it took me far too long to realize. 

ALL worship music is about the ultimate relationship.  No, not Noah and Ally’s, Ours and The Lord’s.  Worship music can be the strongest and most intense vocal expression of our love for the God of our Universe, and His love for us.  “He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy,” “Holding me still, holding me near, In Your arms of love," “Without you I fall apart, you’re the one that guides my heart,” “Show me how to love like you have loved me,” “Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
be all my delights, be my everything,” and “My heart is glad that You've called me Your own. There's no place I'd rather be,” Are just a few parts of the many love songs that exist between us and our Savior.  And I have got to remember this!

Yes, some secular love songs are incredible to the point that others can’t even hold a candle to them…but no secular love song can hold a candle to the love songs between us and our maker…the kind of song that fill your heart to the brim with love, and comfort, and peace, and security, and commitment...and in my opinion, everyone should be addicted to that.  =)

A Boy At Home

I'm finding more and more that my mind often wanders to this boy at home in Salinas. 
I think about him, daydream about him, and miss him way too much when I'm not with him. 

 I like him...A lot.  And I wish I could see him more frequently.  

 That's all. 

Carmel Beach 2008

Uppdate.

As usual, I haven't blogged in forever.  But that's ok because I'm gonna make up for it right.....now.

So far since school ended, Summer hasn't yet shown up.  For the past three weeks of my "summer" I've been waking up early and going to SCHOOL and work every day.  I've decided that this is acceptable though because in July my summer is going to explode and I can't wait. 

• The day after school ends I'm going to visit SILVER for a few days in Arizona! I am really excited.

•  A few days after I arrive home I am going to participate in the happiest 5k on the planet.  The Color Run.  It's gonna be so much, especially since I'm doing it with a bunch of friends.  

• An hour after the color run is over I'm riding down to L.A. with my friend Cassie and the next morning We're flying to Nashville with her step dad to bait hooks, throw out lines, drive trucks, skin bucks, and all that good stuff. Oh, and we're also staying here:

• The day after coming home from Nashville, I will promptly pack my clothes/things I need back up and head off to camping with my family for the week...where there's snakes and stuff.

This is gonna be fun guys.  

OH! In addition to all that in July, I'm also throwing my sister a surprise-ish bridal shower this weekend.  (She's knows its happening, she just doesn't know anything about it!) annnd She's getting married in August.  So those are two things I'm also looking forward to that don't fall into my crazy July.  I'm excited for everything. 


P.S. Right now this country song is my fave.  It'll probably only last a week until I hear my next favorite, but listen!! And ignore the first part,  He doesn't have a music video yet so I had to go with what I could find. =)

It's all ok.

So far today has been...chaotic.

#1.  I woke up late, which is kind of bitter sweet.  The down side is that I am turning my alarm clock off in my sleep because apparently...I don't want to get out of bed.  And the kind of cool part is that I wake up naturally anywhere from thirty to ten minutes before my class is supposed to start.  So far I haven't been late to my morning classes because of sleeping through my alarm, but I have finals coming up and one starts at 8......seriously..sucks. I'm nervous that I wont wake up for it since this seems to be turning into a recurring theme of mine.

#2. Since I rushed to get ready this morning I didn't realize until I was walking to class that something was terribly wrong with my neck.  I must have slept wrong because it has a major kink in it.

#3.  I ran..k..I walked fast to 7th and Santa Clara in 80 degree weather at ten o'clock this morning to have photos printed.  He couldn't print them because I forgot to do the layout correctly.

#4.  After class I went BACK to the photo store...decided to drive instead.  And this happened.  Yeah. I was late for my next class.  But don't worry.  I definitely made it...with ten minutes to spare before it ended. Success.

#5. The guy at the photo place told me that my print was going to cost 45 bucks.  I almost choked. On nothing.

#6.  Fell asleep in my favorite class.

#7...............I COMPLETED MY FIRST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER TODAY.  It's DONE! =)  I am SO happy that I don't have to deal with it any more.  Tonight I will also be finishing my last group of art history homework.  I still have the final for that class...but still.  NO HOMEWORK! This right here makes up for all that other shenanigans today.  I'm excited. Really excited.
And now I need to get to work.


Oh. P.S. A few weeks ago...my shopping cart rode an escalator all by itself.  I was pretty enthusiastic about it.