One Direction-Little Things

For a long time my sister Rebecca and I have been wanting to make videos and put them on youtube but fall semester was crazy and we never had time.  Finally we sat down and just did it and now we're gonna share it with people...so that's what I'm doin....sharing it.


One Direction Little Things Cover

Today I liked my outfit

Today I liked what I decided to wear to a dinner in Monterey with Colin and his co-workers, so before I left I had Matt (the little bro) take a picture of me....in our front yard....where my neighbor saw him doing it....Probably thought I was totally conceited. I promise I'm not, neighbor!  Anyway, I thought I would share what I wore today with the world, and of course by world I mean my four followers...and by four followers I mean my Dad, Mom, and two sisters. =)

Oh also, in completely unrelated news..there's only three days left until Christmas.  Ummmm, what??  How did this month go by so quickly?  I'm not ready yet! I need time to slow down jussssst a little so I can enjoy the holiday a teeny, tiny, bit longer before it's over.  So get on that, time.  Ok? Can you do that for me?  Thanks. 

This may seeeeem like a sad post, but it's happy. =)

When I was around ten years old, I decided four things:  By the time I was 22, I would (a) be living in New York City (not for forever, just for half a year!), (b) have a husband, (c) have a baby, and (d) have a job........

Yep. Those were my ten year old dreams and ambitions.  And unlike most kids I didn't change my mind about what I wanted.  It was always the same.  I was completely infatuated with New York City and it never really wavered.  I dreamt  about walking down busy streets next to the person that I loved while snow quietly fell around us....all. the. time. It consumed me and I honestly believed it could happen.  12 years was soooooo far away! Unfortunately, I didn't realize how fast I would actually grow up..Peter Pan should have prepared me for that one.

On December 15th, I turned 22 years old...and I am here to announce that I live in California, am not married, don't have a baby, and have not even finished college, let alone started a career. 

I had known this day was coming for awhile, I had been watching the days go by in my planner over the past couple of months, seeing the date "December 15th" slowly creep closer, taunting me..and yes, it came, and it went...as all dates on a calendar do.  At first I thought: "this isn't so bad, you've known for the past few years that you wouldn't fulfill any of these dreams within your ridiculous little kid time frame, don't be bummed.  Don't dwell on it."

But then my feelings ended up getting mad at my thoughts for trying to be the rational one in their relationship and eventually my thoughts just angrily stormed out on my feelings...

so instead of being rational, I start to feel like I'm in one of those cliche chick flicks where the guy and the girl love each other but some kind of conflict occurs, so, (usually the girl) gets on a plane to leave....And anyone who has ever seen one of these movies knows what follows:  The guy rushes through the airport, disregards security protocol, and sprints for the gate.  He's gotta get to her before he loses her forever.

I'm not sure I've ever seen an ending to one of these kinds of movies where the plane isn't stopped, and the boy ends up broken hearted and alone forever.  It just doesn't happen...Not even in Liar Liar or Parent Trap people. 

But my cliche chick flick is different, I'm not chasing a guy, I'm chasing my dreams.  They're leaving and I'm afraid I wont get there in time.  I'm gonna sprint after them as fast as I can, shoving people out of my way James Bond style and causing a scene.  When I've finally reached my gate and breathlessly tell the stewardess that he or she has to stop the plane from leaving, that it can't go because something on it is too important for me to lose,  he or she is just going to look back at me and say "I'm sorry but you just missed it."  And I'll just stand there...not knowing exactly what to do, or what comes next.

I know that the scenario above is a little bit (a lot) unrealistic and dramatic and totally annoying, but I just sometimes feel stuck.  At the moment I have an older sister right in the middle of living out her dreams...and a younger sister who still dreams of marrying celebrities.  And here's me..just..going to school.

Deep down I know that being 22 and still in school is ok, that I'm not really ready to have a baby, that I'll get married when the timing is right,  and that it was way too ridiculous and naive of me to think any of that would be possible in the first place..but for now it's ok to feel a little disappointed..right?..I don't know, maybe it's not, maybe it's selfish. 

I'm not saying that because I've turned 22 and these things haven't happened yet that they wont though...No, I still plan on being married sometime in the future, and having amazing little miracle babies, and my dream job...and really, who knows where I'll end up living..But I guess through all this dreaming, I've learned not to set deadlines for myself.  I can't expect things to happen according to what I think is best.  God knows exactly when all of these things will happen and that continuously brings me comfort and joy.  Right now I am going to enjoy my year of being 22 years old that God has given to me =).  I am not sad, I am hopeful.  Hopeful for my future, and for my dreams to come true someday soon.