Night on the town

For the past....long time, the Mann household has had frequent visitors from a wife and husband raccoon.  K, I'll admit, I don't actually know if they are husband and wife, but to be fair, they never actually confirmed nor denied the rumor so I'm just gonna go ahead and say that they were.

Anyway though! Finally, about two weeks ago, we...and I'm using the term we a little loosely here cause "we" didn't do anything..so my dad, caught one!

 We kept him on Saturday night and through part of Sunday until my parents got back from church.  Then my dad took him, (I'm gonna say it was a him) to the wild and let him loose.

Before my dad took him though, I got a chance to get up close and personal and sit down for an interview with him.

He told me that he and his wife come around on Saturdays to get out on the town.  To have a night full of fresh water and catfood.  And that they really enjoy the hospitality and the all you can eat Purina One. 

After that extremely personal info that he shared with me, my dad and Colin loaded him up and took him away.  And I felt sad, partly for me...because I'm not going to be able to stare into his beady little eyes again, and partly for him and his wife.  Because I feel like we had just ripped a family apart.  Maybe some day they will be reunited.  Maybe when "we" catch her and release her in the same spot they'll run to each other and open their arms and hug and make cute little raccoon babies...And then bring one back to me in a little white satchel and leave it on my porch.  They could be stork raccoons!


Love, Candace

2.5 second Astronomy lesson

My bedroom window faces to the north.

The United States of America is located in Northern Hemisphere of the earth.  That means that the sun is always a little bit to the south of us.  It rises south east, stays south alllll day, and sets south west. 

So...therefore!!! Because the sun is always slightly to the south of us, and my bedroom window always happens to face north, there is no sunlight that streams in, and my bedroom is always cold.

The end.  There will be a five to ten question quiz on this next week students, so prepare accordingly. 

The first two days of school.

1.       I am the queen of road hypnosis.  The fact that I haven’t crashed my car in the past year and a half is a miracle.  

2.      I am also the queen of conquering road hypnosis.  I know exactly how to roll down my windows and blast my music and sing at the top of my lungs to stay awake. 

3.      My one and only New Year’s resolution was to actually listen to my radio this year…instead of only One Direction. 

4.      Just kidding on that last one, but if I haaaad made a New Year’s resolution, that wouldn’t have been a bad one to make.  

5.      The elevators in Duncan Hall are the scariest elevators in the history of elevators. 

6.      I lied…

7.      The elevators in the St. Louis Arch are the scariest elevators in the history of elevators…but the elevators in Duncan Hall run a close second. 

8.      The three words “Confident,” “Candace’s,” and “Personality” should never be put together in the same sentence.  I am the opposite of Confident. 

9.      Because of that, walking past the countless frat and sorority tents on campus at the beginning of the semester is torture. 

10.   I don’t understand the need that girls have to wear shorts and carry umbrellas when it’s raining outside, nor will I ever understand that need. 

11.   As far as I’m concerned, the only places that it’s ok to do that are Hawaii, Florida, and Haiti.  

12.   San Jose, CA is not like Hawaii, Florida, or Haiti. 

14.   8:00 classes suck.  They suck.  They suck.  They suck. 

15.   3D concepts is one of my six classes.

16.   For those of you who may not be aware, the definition of 3D is exactly this: Candace is completely out of her element, and clueless.  

17.   If you doubt me on that definition, look it up…It really says that.  

18.   Last semester, I had a bad encounter with a faculty member in the photo department. 

19.   This semester, that faculty member is my teacher. 

20.   I’m scared. 

21.   In one of my classes, one of my teachers basically told us that he expects us to be talented.

22.   I now know what an anxiety attack feels like.

23.   I suddenly felt as if I needed to loosen my tie and unbutton the top button of my shirt. 

24.   I wasn’t wearing a tie, or a button up shirt. 

25.   Being thin, and being in shape, DO NOT go hand in hand.

26.   I haven’t been this thin since 2008.

27.   I have also not been this bad of shape since 2008. 

28.   Lying on the couch for two weeks straight will do that to me apparently. 

29.   I missed my boyfriend WAY more than I should have for only being away from him for two days. WAY more than I should have....

30.   Jeeps are relatively cold vehicles, in case you didn’t know.  

Now, If you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna go crawl into my bed and stay there for the rest of the weekend. Because two days of school is way to many days.  

My First Encounter

This is the story of my first encounter with solid food after having tonsil surgery nine days prior: 

During the afternoon on Friday, my mom and I had gone to the chiropractor in hopes of finally getting my back to behave and quit causing me a massive amount of pain.  For those of you who don’t know, In addition to my back causing me a world of hurt for the past week, I was also trying to reconcile the fact that I had been to hell and back over the course of the past nine days while recovering from a tonsillectomy, which pretty much made the consumption of food practically impossible.  It also just so happened that on this particular day, I was starting to cut back on my pain medication, trying to do without, testing the waters, seeing how little I could manage…you know.  So shall we re-cap, just so we’re clear?  I, Candace Mann, who gets cranky on a regular day when I’m just a little hungry, was going on nine days of practically no food, hadn’t had an un-interrupted nights sleep in over eight days, and was subjecting myself to more pain than necessary.  Let’s just say that I wasn’t doing my best mentally. 

We ended our trip to the chiropractor yielding unsuccessful results.  He didn’t know what was wrong with my back and suggested I come back in the morning so he could try again.  Oh the morning, I thought, yeah that means waking up at 7:50 AM…sure.  Totally fine.  Especially since I’ve gotten so much rest lately.  No big deal.  But I’d probably end up going anyway.  Back in the car my mom explained “I need to go to the store, to pick up a few things.  Would you rather me take you home before I do?” Bless that woman.  I told her that I would rather go home because it was past four, I was overdue to take my pain meds again, and I was hurting.  She said that was fine and then started talking about what we might have for dinner.  For the past week when the topic of dinner has come up, my stomach has happily cheered and shouted “include me! Include me!” I’ve had to forcefully tell it to shut up multiple times, and as usual, at the mention of dinner, it started to chime in.  Trying to ignore it I calmly asked what she was thinking and she responded, “I was thinking about maybe picking up some five dollar pizzas, and if you think you’re willing to try I can get you some bread sticks.”  “Ok, yeah, I don’t know if it will work but I’ll try.” She didn’t have to try very hard to convince me.  My stomach was wildly celebrating the news.  

We soon arrived at home where she dropped me off, did a quick laundry switch, grabbed her list, and headed back out the door.  Oh and she was in the middle of coming down with a cold.  Wonder Woman people.  While I was at home I crashed on the couch, lying there in a pain/medicine induced stupor until my beautiful boyfriend showed up to cuddle with me and rub my shoulders, and tell me that he thinks I’m pretty and that my breath smells.  He is a keeper.  After over an hour and still no return from my mom I started to become impatient.  I kept thinking, she said “I’ll be right back” what is taking so long?  Finally my dad walked into the room and announced that she was home.  He wrangled up the boys to help unload the car and within a few minutes they shuffled back in, boys carrying grocery bags, and my mom carrying pizzas and…and…yes, bread sticks.  

I gulped, this was it.  The moment I had been waiting for.  She set the pizzas down on the counter, picked up the bag of bread sticks and headed my way.  Now let me set this up for you the way I saw it.  Things were in slow motion and my mom was suddenly back lit…glowing like an angel as she slowly and gracefully glided over to me.  There was a heavenly noise coming from somewhere on the right, and my mom, in all her glory, had never looked so beautiful.  Let’s be real, I always think my mom is beautiful, but in this moment, she might have been an angel.  Back to real time, she was now standing in front of me with the glorious bread sticks.  “I got the ones that seemed a little under-done, the softer ones, so try these and see if you can eat them.” Ok, you angelic woman, you.  She can be very persuasive, especially while holding bread sticks.  She set them down in front of me and went back to the counter to grab herself some pizza.  Nice of her to give me a moment alone with my bread sticks, Little Caesars had never smelled so incredible before this moment.  In the midst of my opening the bag, my throat being the rude throat that she is, started to chime in.  She sounded a whole lot like Jeanie in Aladdin when he is explaining that there are some “uh, provisos, some quid-pro-quos.” She said to me “Um, Candace, excuse me, but I really don’t think this is a good idea.  I’m seriously questioning your judgment at this time.” I equally rudely told my throat to SHUT UP! And that I WAS GOING TO EAT THESE NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! So DEAL!  

Slowly, carefully, I pulled a golden brown, soft, doughy, bread stick from the bag and moved it toward my mouth.  All the while my throat screaming in the background, but I didn’t care, I was done listening to it.  I took a bite, and oh, did it taste good, no.  Better than good.  It tasted like a little piece of heaven.  I began to chew, and while yes, it was uncomfortable, a little painful even, I kept on, I tried to make it to twenty chews, but gave up after two and took a huge swallow.  And just like that, magically, it went down.  I did it.  It had been painful and felt rather weird.  But I had done it! And oh, was I going to do it again.  What ensued afterward was, I’ll admit, not my finest moments.  I imagine that from an outsiders point of view I probably looked as if I hadn’t eaten in nine years rather than nine days, but hey, I was hungry and I was not worried about how glamorous I looked while scarfing down my bread sticks on ma couch.   

When I got to my third, three thoughts simultaneously crossed my mind.  1.  I might actually eat this whole bag.  2.  Goodbye bikini body, it’s been nice to see you for the past five days or so.  3.  Colin is about to look over in my direction, see me stuffing my face, and change his mind about the past five years that we’ve been together.  This is going to suck.  But uh, it may just be worth it.  After my third, I somehow exercised incredible restraint, and I stopped.  The boy and I made it past the crumbs and garlic bits that took up residence on my face, and I spent the rest of the night laying on the couch in a blissful carb induced coma.  Three bread sticks changed my entire life.  I may never be the same again. 

Follow up, alternately titled "In other news."

Today I went to see my mean, evil, torturous, and mean Dr.  for a follow up appointment.  Oh…wait.  What’s that?  He actually just helped me out in the long run?  And eliminated a life full of sore throats and annoying tonsil stones?  Oh, ok….Today I went to see my amazing, nice, helpful, and nice Dr. for a follow up appointment.  He said everything looked the way it should.  So basically that means everything looks like masago eggs (fish eggs found in sushi) are growing in the back of my throat.  Normal?  Oh good!! Eventually my palette is supposed to smooth out and I will apparently be able to move my tongue and yawn again sometime within the next decade…or within the next few weeks, whichever comes first.  

Also! I start school tomorrow, and as I type this my hair is already starting to fall out in clumps.  I shed when I get stressed..OK?! Four months…or three months and a week or something like that, and I will finally be done for the rest of my life.  Although who am I kidding?  I really want to enroll in a community college and take fitness and dance classes sometime after I graduate...because it’s like 100 times cheaper than paying for dance classes at a dance studio, believe me…I took a belly dance class at one and it was super expensive, but I had a job then and I didn’t care.  Excuse me while I go cry about not having a job for the next five hours.  Dance classes are the funnest.  I took ballroom two semesters in a row because I loved it so much.  So saying that I’m done with school for the rest of my life after this is probably a lie.  

In other news:  I have had a suit case sitting in my bedroom and mocking me since January 8^th.  I do not like this suitcase and I do not want to pack it.  I might even go as far as to equate the feelings that I have towards packing to the feelings that I have towards a tonsillectomy.  

In other news: Until today, I had not put a single pair of jeans on my body since January 8^th.  Also, I did not want to break this streak.  I think I would like to go a whole year without wearing jeans.  I think I would like that very much.  

In other news: Until today, I had not driven my Jeep Wrangler since January 8^th.  Also, I did not want to break this streak.  I think I would like to go a whole year without driving.  I think I would like that very much.

In other news: I’m off to go pack that dumb suitcase previously mentioned...and maybe kick it once or twice.  It may take me a few weeks to finish…and maybe by the time I’m finished I will be able to yawn without simultaneously dying.  

Love,

Candace

Life lately

The past couple days as of late have been spent lying around and feeling good and then bad,  and back and fourth between a nine and four on the pain scale.  I think I've learned pretty much all there is to learn about the healing process of tonsil removal surgery, so I'm no longer going to talk about that.  Instead I thought I would share some things that stood out to me in the past ohhh 48 hours or so.


I left the house.  Two different days, two different occasions, same location, same circumstance.  I got to ride....in the passenger's seat...to the chiropractor and back.  Usually I totally don't mind not driving around town.  I'd much rather be the passenger in fact.  Because I do a lot of driving during the school week and I find it annoying...and by (it) I mean other drivers..but the past two days I felt like I was re-living those days back in Vietnam when I wasn't old enough to drive yet and my parents had to be my taxi driver.  It was cool.


The Power went out for about fifteen to twenty minutes last night.  It broke down in terms of time like this:

• First five minutes: I stumbled around looking for my phone in the dark so I could turn on my super convenient flashlight app instead of walking ten feet in the opposite direction of where my phone was actually just chillin' right out in the open and just getting a real flashlight. 

• Next five: cried about how I couldn't warm up my rice/bean bag thing that has been by my side non-stop for the past six days in the microwave.  And then realizing that water wouldn't come out of the fridge and crying about that too.  (When I say cry I don't actually mean that I cried...jeeze people.  Don't be so quick to judge.) 

• Last five-ten: walked around enjoying the dark and playing with my little flashlight, yes the real one, not the one on my phone.  Also wondering if maybe the power outage was the beginning of a zombie attack in my neighborhood.  Don't worry.  It wasn't.

 I realized just how hard being a mommy is these past couple of days.  My stomach and my throat just will not hardly give me a moment of peace.  One is constantly crying and whining about being hungry and wanting food other than mashed potatoes, and the second I try to give her something different, the other kiddo chimes in and starts complaining that she doesn't want any of that other stuff.  I can't please one without disappointing the other.  The only time they are both getting along and I'm not completely sick of them is when they take their naps.  And seriously...thank goodness for naps.  What can I say, unconditional love right?


Haven't seen ma boyfriend.  So uh...that sucks.  His car is sick so he's stuck at home.  Looking forward to seeing him and his arms tomorrow though. 


Today I got to see the Lane littles.  And boy did they brighten up my day! Those two little voices singing "Fat Bottom Girls" and dancing and talking about deer.  Very fun.   I also decided to pretend to be a photographer for today.  Since leaving the house wasn't an option I photographed the room that I've lived in the past week and some things that I've seen over and over again.  Also shot some cute moments of my visitors being here.  Pics below. 

Rebecca had them over for a lunch date. PbJ's ^^

Siren, or kitty cat, was a huge hit. ^^

  So was flying^^ 

___________________________________________________________

The rest of these were taken later in the afternoon after I had slept for a little while. 

Love, Candace